2.11.2009

make this count

The time is rollin around when applications are due, colleges need to know, programs require confirmation, and decisions need to be made. And my head is in a whirl. How does one know what to do with their life? When does that happen? I wish it would happen to me, that would be nice.

I love NWC. It is a really good school and I have loved my bible and ministry classes. The faculty have been amazing and I have made some excellent friends and memories, and yet, I feel myself wanting to leave. I'm not sold that it's the place for me. All my life I have been surrounded by church. And it has been absolutley amazing, I can't express how thankful I am for the family I have and the community that has surrounded me. But I find myself wanting to venture out, go somewhere new, somewhere I haven't been before, somewhere out of my comfort zone.
And why not?
What is holding me back from going after what I want?
I'm scared. I have been thinking of possibly getting involved with YWAM on a 5 or 6 month DTS program. It sounds absolutley amazing, weeks of training, language learning, serving in a foreign country, seeking after God, learning more about what He wants for me, giving to others, and AH! There is so much in me that wants to just go for it, and then the thoughts hit me of leaving everyone for half a year and going out on my own, just me, and it scares me. I wish it didn't, I wish I was more confident and secure but to be honest it scares me.

I think I'm going to go for it. More and more I am seeing that it fits. I feel like God is nudging me to go, to get out of my normal way of living and do something bigger than me. I will definitely keep praying about it.
It's time for me to go and take a leap. I think He's got something pretty exciting up His sleeve.

What am I waiting for? There is no waiting for me to 'get older' or grow up. I am older and I am on my way to being grown up (when does that happen exactly?). I think that so much growth would happen in those six months. I think that there is so much potential in a missions opportunity to draw closer to God and know Him deeper.
I want that.
As The Rocket Summer sings, "Get off your feet and make this count!"

3 comments:

  1. Oh man that is an intense decision! I would be excited for you if you went on a YWAM. I will be praying for you to make the right choice.

    Love you, babe

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  2. You know the Rocket Summer! I love him and his music. Sweet.
    YWAM would be awesome. I've had a friend go and he absolutely loved it. I've thought about it a little myself too.
    May God give you guidance and his perfect peace about a decision :)

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  3. "It's time for me to go and take a leap. I think He's got something pretty exciting up His sleeve."
    You may not have done the YWAM thing, but man, God definitely had something up His sleeve for you! Still does in fact.

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