3.06.2009

Too _____ .

So often I feel messy. I think a lot of women do. We have all this jumble of emotion going on, sometimes we don't even know where to start untangling it ourselves, let alone someone else understanding the insanity.
I think a lot of fear comes from that.
What if I'm too messy?
What if my feelings are too undefined for someone? What if no one is willing to dive into the complication of who I am?

An excerpt from the book Captivating :
(side note : I highly recommend women read it, as well as any men who have a wife, girlfriend, or hope to have either someday. I would absolutely love my future husband to be willing to read it. Wild at Heart, the equivalent book written for men, is also wonderful.)

--Back off, or Leave her alone, or, You don't really want to go there- she'll be too much for you, is something Satan has set against every women from the day of her birth. It's the emotional and spiritual equivalent of leaving a little girl by the side of the road to die. And to every woman he has whispered, You are alone, or, When they see who you really are, you will be alone, or, No one will ever truly come for you.--

Being too much. Too much to handle, too emotional, too needy, too picky, too uptight, too complicated.
Who wants to be that? Not me, and yet it is a fear I find myself facing. That who I am is too much and not worth the risk and courage it would take to dive into.
Not worth the time and energy to it would take to truly know my heart, and the even accepting the dark parts, the parts I really don't want anyone to know about.

What comfort I take in knowing that even if no man ever does that, Jesus has and always will. He will always want to know my heart and understand my messiest thoughts.
He is always ok with me sharing the parts even I don't understand yet, constantly picking up the pieces that I don't have the strength to gather.

I am not too much for him.
I am not a messy girl with a past, as Satan and my own thoughts so often yell at me.
I am a pure beauty and a heart to discover.

I can't every thank You enough for that.

3 comments:

  1. Yes. I can't even find the words to express how great it is that God doesn't back off once he realizes I am a lot to handle.

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  2. You write so honestly and vulnerable Danae. It's beautiful.

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  3. This is very accurate...
    I've often thought these things.
    But isn't it amazing that Jesus can handle us?! With our crazy emotions and all. Amazing.

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