5.05.2010

life can be so blah then so yah in about a three second period. its felt like this a lot this week (and i wholly recognize it's probably because of mr. TOM). today michael and i signed our lease! it was a yah moment for sure. when talking about putting our names on the mailbox, we came to the conclusion that it would be easier to just put 'Moran' rather than adding 'Iverson' because my name will be changing so soon. it was a fairly technical decision, the most logical, but i found that my heart started to beat faster.

my name is changing soon. i will be a wife. i will have a husband. i will live in our home.
yah.

then class was long and boring. blah.

i ended up walking the 20 blocks back to my apartment because waiting twenty minutes for the bus seemed like an eternity. turns out i walked faster than the bus. the weather was the weird, i'm sort of sunny but looking like i am about to burst water way. lucky for me, it didn't burst. i did end up finding a rather vintage looking suitcase with stickers on it in one of the 'trash' piles on the side of 11th St (F/M clean up week is wonderful to me). i naturally had to pick it up, and i ended up walking the rest of the way home with the suitcase, and received some weird looks. i figured out i looked rather like a bum, with my large flannel shirt flapping in the wind, my messy hair trying to stay tamed in a pony but failing, and the backpack and suitcase in tow. i looked like a hippie trying to hitch a ride. and i realized that was sort of ok with me.

i am starting my new job on monday. i am kind of nervous. but hey, that's normal right? right.



Jesus is so faithful. i feel like such a failure some days. i say mean things to my friends. i get annoyed easily. i don't read my bible. i slip into selfish thinking. i forget to say thank you for all my blessings. the list goes on. i  am truly amazed by his love that never ends. my love gets so tired and there are bursts of break downs. when i just let myself wallow in self pity. it's amazing he never does that. not once. my whole life is filled with his selfless acts of constant love.

how can i love you more? you deserve all the love i have. and that still feels so inadequate. my heart feels like such an inadequate of a gift. but i choose to remember those words you spoke, you told me to sit down and write it down. you told me that you were pleased with my gift. the gift of my soul is what you want. you created it in a secretly wonderful place and you crafted it perfectly to your desire. there is no greater gift i could give you then what you created yourself, for yourself. you gave your creation of my soul away to my free will, and to get it back makes your heart sing. i am not an inadequate gift, i am a perfect gift. i complete your heart, and you long for more of me. i long to give more of myself. i want to know how to give more of myself. reveal to me more of myself, so that i can give it over to you! you are what i want. i love you Jesus.

3 comments:

  1. I adore you.
    I am pleased and joyful and overwhelmed with the fact that you are my sister. You are such a doll and I love the comments you've been leaving on my blog these past few days. Please don't stop encouraging me. It's truth-speaking sisters like yourself that I need more of. Thank you. Thank you for the beautiful prayer at the end of this post, as well. SO AWESOME and beautiful, seriously. I love the, "there is no greater gift i could give you then what you created yourself, for yourself. you gave your creation of my soul away to my free will, and to get it back makes your heart sing. i am not an inadequate gift, i am a perfect gift. i complete your heart, and you long for more of me." alot!!!!!!

    Thank you Danae. I'm SO happy to know you!

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  2. stumbled on your blog and think your a lovely writer. good luck on your job prospect. You;ll do great-trust in your talent!

    cheers, Jesa

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  3. You are my favorite marriage buddy. say i was reminded by your "loves" on the right side there...for future reference, i read in my employee packet that Starbucks does a 5 thousand dollar help out scholarship for people who adopt, to help cover the costs. thought you would like to know.

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