6.17.2010

nine days.

i am nine days away from my wedding day. honestly, i don't even know what to feel. its like a jumble of emotions that are trying to let my mind know what i am really feeling. i go through waves of sadness, happiness, stress, joy, thankfulness, nervousness, excitement, and everything in between. the excitement usually fights its way to the top. i feel like i need to hurry and soak everything in, to not lose a minute, to not forget a single thing. in the process i feel rushed, the majority of my day feels hurried.

i have felt so torn these past few days and very selfish. i expect everything to be about me, because i'm getting married and everything should be, right? (wrong!) so i am learning more and more how to let go and realize that my big day is really not supposed to be about me anyways. it's supposed to be about Him. it's supposed to be about how much michael and i love Him and want to live as one before Him.

it seems my heart realizes its my last few days at home, ever again, as just a daughter, an iverson, and it has been trying to grasp at making this time last. my last nights sleeping in the basement, and staying up late with my sisters. but my heart also realizes very soon, oh very soon, that it gets to be united with it's best friend, and it's very excited! i am all in one breath eager and hesitant to leave.

(i am scared i am going to cry like a baby on my wedding day saying goodbye to my daddy).

i recently had sucky stuff happen with friends. further tying my heart up in knots. i just don't know what to do and it all hurts. i wish i could snap my fingers and everything would be better, hurts would be healed, and friendships restored. i know that through everything He is still faithful, and good. all the time.

i am so excited for the wedding to just be here already. to let go and let everyone take care of everything and be beautiful. i can't wait to drive away and let everyone else pick it all up haha. how wonderful it is to have so many friends and family that make it a possibility! i can't wait to relax on the lake with my husband and be MARRIED finally. i hear it's great and i certainly believe it. and then i get to be a bridesmaid in my wonderful friend Joanna's wedding about 2 weeks after my own. my heart skips a beat thinking about the fact that in her wedding program i will be Danae Moran! 

through all the stress and the headaches, and sore throats and stuffed noses (which i currently have), Jesus is so GOOD to me. He is the best of the best and i know that no matter what, everything will work out, and He will be praised, which is why i'm here.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so excited for you nay!
    I am feeling the exact same way— so many different emotions!
    I typed you in as Danae Moran the other day and it was fantastic :)
    you make me smile all the time my dear
    love you!

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  2. You are on your way to a wedding.
    Excited thingy!
    I have not married yet, but i do believe that lotssss (with ton of s) of emotion will be blended :)
    just be calm dear, cause everything gonna be ok if you do it with your love :)

    pintaliztiirene.blogspot.com

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