3.16.2012

A goal of mine is to learn to expand my knitting skills, I have the basics, but I really would love to make more intricate items and patterns, as well as learn more about yarn.

I just love to create things. Michael laughs at me when I get so giddy over things like the sewing machine, new yarn, or an idea for a project. I am secretly (or not so secretly)jealous of those who get to spend their days in a studio doing what they love. I do love what I do, and it is rewarding in its own way, but also incredibly emotionally draining in a way art never is to me. I'm still trying to dream up ways to mix my heart's desire for justice, the gospel, adoption, families, and mercy with my love for the creative. And how to combine them in a challenging, meaningful, and fulfilling way. I am thankful that God knows what this looks like, and He knows what is coming in the next years for Michael and I. Sometimes I just wish that I knew too.

Not knowing is a good way to learn to trust God. I honestly have no idea what I will be doing come the end of April, that is only about a month away. I don't know if I've ever had nothing planned so little in advance. I really like being in control of things, like my day, my relationships, my work, and my future. I am slowwwwllly (and I mean it feels very slowly) learning to let go little by little of my closely held pride and control. God despises pride but gives grace to the humble. When Michael and I had an argument on the way out the door one morning this week, he was quick to apologize in the car before we even reached work. I decided that it would feel nicer to give him the cold shoulder and shut the car door before he could give me a hug. If I let him hug me that meant I wanted things to be okay (and I really did) and if things were okay, that meant I let go of my pride and control of the situation. Darn that sinful nature, it is always lurking in the corner (but most days it feels like a raging beast). I am thankful for a forgiving God and a loving husband. I am thankful that God isn't done with me yet, and today is a new day. His mercies are new again.

Back to the knitting ....
These projects made by Rebekka of Dear Friend are so beautiful, and she is a relatively new knitter! The last item is my favorite. Inspiring me to get started ...




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